I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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