weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.