I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
