So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
