Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
