I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Buhtt sex?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
