If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize