I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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