still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
