Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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