I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
