I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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