you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize