He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
