We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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