we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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