you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
