He had one of those small greek statue penises
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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