You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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