I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
