woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Be still, my beating vagina.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize