no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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