addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
