I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
