she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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