her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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