Dual....:-)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
