I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.