I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
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I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???