I love black thongs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.