I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
A+ Viking dick
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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