One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
