And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Michael Bay diarrhea
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize