I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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