I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
