My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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