Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..