honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call