i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
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Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer