can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
