Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
