she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
