I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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