She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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