you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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