I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
