So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
