1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
