He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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