never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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