I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
