Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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