I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What did we do last night that was yellow?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
