I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
