This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Man, jail baloney is awful.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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