I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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