How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize