16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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