there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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