Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
