My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
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He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So vagazzling was a success