too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize