Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
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Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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