Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
